Just a few anticipatory days away from leader training, so here is a glimpse into my feelings and a reminder from the Lord.
I had a moment, just last week, where I came face to face with Jesus.
You know when you get into a safe place with safe people and you finally just let your emotions roll how they really are? Jesus is that safe place for me, and envisioning Him face to face with me, I let loose. Up until that moment if someone were to ask me how I felt about leading I would explain how I was a little nervous but mostly excited to see how the Lord is going to show up. I still hold on to this, but standing there with Jesus I had to face my own fears and internal feelings about what was going to happen. I was scared. I was scared that I will not be able to offer the true discipleship that the racers need. I never want to lead them astray or damage their faith. I was taking on too much pressure for myself and forgetting the power of Jesus.
I am not going to diminish the fact that I am still scared; I think that is normal for the leadership journey I am about to embark upon. I will, though, share the verse that the Lord has laid on my heart for such a time as this. Hebrews 12:2, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Jesus has said that He is with me, so I trust Him and will fix my eyes on Him.
Jesus endured with joy knowing the glory that He was about to behold. I get to endure the difficult times with joy in hope of being in the presence of His glory for eternity. The faith that I have is solely guided by Jesus. Fixing my eyes on Jesus reminds me of the hope that I have and allows Him to guide my faith and life in the way He chooses. He does this for me; He can do it for you, and He will do it for the racers. I am reminded that it is not what I have to offer the racers but what Jesus has to offer them. I am honored to be used in this process and honored that I get to be in the front row as they grow. I hold the hope of who Jesus is and the promise that He is already here.
